In front of the world we put on a shield of happiness and confidence, but in privacy our thoughts are often clouded by regrets and deep sadness. Replaying the pain and the anguish over and over.
Shame.
If given the chance, it will rot our souls away like tooth decay. If not addressed it can lead to anxiety, depression; drug/alcohol dependency.
In this thing called life we endure many trials and tribulations. No one is above this. It is what makes us human. Our earliest experiences usually shape and guide our life's path. Disappointing memories, abandonment, lost opportunities and lost hope. Living in despair and in our heads.
My secret confession: I'm guilty of letting shame taking over my life. From birth my mom often told me she wished I was never born. I looked very much like my dad that abused her, and I knew from a very young age that I was she resented me and unloved. As a child of neglect I often slept here and there with not much guidance and love until I was placed into Foster Care.With my Foster Mom's encouragement I eventually went to college and was surrounding by incredibly smart and intelligent people. But I harbored deep shame about my childhood and was crippled by my deep felt I wasn't good enough to be among them. Lying to everyone about my childhood, even going as far as to say that my parents were in the FBI and were to busy to come to visit. My fear was that if people knew my truth they would shun me and treat me as a less than. Ridiculous isn't it? What is even more ridiculous is that it took me years to forgive myself and honor my truth. But I did and I am. I
Healing
The first step is to take inventory of what shames you. Only you can do this. You'll be surprised how freeing it is. So be bold and honest with yourself. This is the beginning of a life filled with peace of mind. You cannot move forward in your life if you cannot honestly identify what holds you back from living your life fully. This is about dignity and respecting yourself. If you cannot forgive and respect yourself than it is incredibly hard to have empathy and respect for others. You may even come to believe that you aren't deserving of love and respect.
Make your confession.
If you believe in a higher power, admit what troubles your heart and ask for forgiveness. If your shame involves hurting someone else, humble yourself and admit how they were wronged. More importantly, make concessions to right the wrong.
Lastly, take it one day at a time and be patience. This is part of a lifelong journey so enjoy the ride. Share your testimony, let's heal together.
For more information on on Shame check out http://www.emotionalcompetency.com/humiliation.htm
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